Patrons of the Absurd

Think jury duty is creepy? Then don't read this lurid tale of a district judge in Oklahoma, who apparently had a habit of, er...pleasuring himself on the bench. Link courtesy of The Smoking Gun. No Learned Hand jokes, please.

Apparently, a woman in Iran has given birth to a frog. This news is brought to you not by Star, the Enquirer, or The Daily World News, but by the BBC. Maybe they're experimenting with a tabloid news format?

My favorite tidbit from the story is below. You never know, it could come in handy during Final Jeopardy:

Medical history recounts stories of people who believed they had frogs - or even lizards or snakes - living and growing in their bodies. One of the most famous was the 17th Century case of Catharina Geisslerin, known as "the toad-vomiting woman" of Germany.

More on vomiting frogs here.

Well, gotta solve the CA budget crunch somehow...

(Or, "Oh, hello, Mr. FBI man...")

I look forward to paying no taxes this year.

http://www.861.info/
http://www.taxableincome.net/
http://www.861evidence.com/
http://www.theft-by-deception.com/

I mean, people are really serious about this shit.

"Every American is eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. They’re just not eating on a competitive level."

This is my favorite quote from a new documentary film called Crazy Legs Conti: Zen and the Art of Competitive Eating. The film follows Crazy Legs Conti, a New York window washer and member of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, through his "rookie year" in competition. In a recent publicity stunt to hype the film's premiere in Manhattan, Crazy Legs attempted to eat his way out of a telephone booth filled with popcorn, equipped only with a snorkel and a mask. Any POA readers who have tried this know how tough it is.

Incidentally, the film, which screens today at 4:30pm at the Laemmle Sunset 5 as part of the Los Angeles Film Festival, is reported to reach its climax at Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Contest. This event is described as "the Tour de France of competitive eating." Has anyone heard of this contest? If so, why didn't somebody tell me about this sooner?

Gotta go. I'm getting hungry.

The Olympic Torch Relay recently passed through L.A., epicenter of our blogdom. For those of you who missed it, below is a recap from a trusty Patrons of the Absurd operative who was knee-deep in the hoopla. Enjoy.

If you get a chance this afternoon, you might think about stepping out (or
looking out your window) around 5:30pm, because the Olympic Torch relay is
coming through Koreatown and downtown. I rode my bike to see it in Santa
Monica this morning, and have to confess it was a lot of fun, in the
big-hearted, wholesome, slightly corny way that parades are supposed to be
but rarely actually are. There were like 75 people at the corner of
Wilshire and 23rd alone, and bunches more scattered up and down the
boulevard. Everyone was smiling and snapping photos, and the guy carrying
the torch looked really excited. An older gentleman standing next to me
said he had carried the torch 20 years ago for the 84 Olympics here in LA.
He was beaming just remembering how much fun he'd had.

But wait, that's not all! There's also an advance team of fifty support
vehicles, a flock of motorcycle cops, a biplane overhead trailing a
Samsung/Olympic Torch banner, and the Coca-Cola/Samsung hype squad. Awwww yeah! A bunch of dancing, high-fiving twentynothings skipping back and
forth between a Coke pace truck and the crowd, passing out "I saw the flame"
pennants and complimentary 20 oz. bottles of Coca-Cola C2 (the new,
low-sugar, low-carb Coke), plus some guy with a Mr. Microphone on a flatbed
giving shout outs to every retail establishment in sight and getting half
the names wrong -- "Big ups to California Cafe Chicken!" Good times. And
that's not just the C2 talking!

Editor's Note: Slightly corny?

I know Madonna has done some weird stuff in her time, but this was a bizarre headline.

This is a wonderful idea.

It's been a while since I've blogged, and as Barrucca ben Hayim Mendez points out, it certainly isn't for lack of material. As an example, Gutsy Women Travel is a nice little web site for the gutsy woman traveler in all of us. The site urges its readers, "Come along with me, be a gutsy woman---you know you already are!" This would be enough to merit a link, but as Barrucca notes, the best part is the testimonials page. I'm not sure what's better: the concept of a "Gaelic Hiking Trip," the fact that two of the testimonials are from someone named Marybeth Bond, or the fact that rabid Gutsy Women fan Marybeth Bond turns out to be the author of a travel book called..."Gutsy Women."

Update: Those readers traveling with lil' globetrotters may wish to check out Gutsy Mamas.

Typing random nonsense acronyms into Google is terrific fun! Who'd have ever guessed...

DMRI
SPLD
HCLU
TRMA
SDIM

Etc.